One mans love of playing guitar// he loved the joy, the melody, his ability to be creative, he could escape into the music // his problem: life had little joy, he had been unwell and life had been difficult.
He got connected to the emotion of playing , he sat with it for a few minutes, I then suggested how life was a lot like playing guitar and let him sit with that. He got a smile on his face and I could almost see the cogs turning ..... :-)
I have thoroughly enjoyed watching your videos, especially seeing your work with clients which is elegant and powerful. In terms of suggesting what you like is like the problem, if a person then had a negative association so that what they like becomes a problem how do you try to prevent that?
Thanks for your important question, Miich and thanks for your thoughtful response, larry.
Firstly, if we ask the question with a mood of expectancy, this increases the likelyhood of connection, and ... if the connection doesn't happen, we can ask "How if what you like comparable to the problem?". Sometimes the client will then make a connection, sometimes in a surprising way. If there is still no connection, I've found that it can be helpful to introduce learning. "When you first began to [likes] you had these difficulties, and over time, you learnt ..." and ... if still no connections we can support this be saying "You don't need to make the connection here and now. It may happen later, while you're reading a book, etc., perhaps not for a few days ..." In other words exploring ways to keep the possibility active ... AND ... this is only one way of helping. Sometimes something totally different is required.
This approach is usually helpful and is respectful, so it can be a delightful place to begin. But ... only one of many.
Hi Mitch. I am moved to respond because this does happen, for example someone loves basketball but can no longer play or play at the same level which makes him or her sad or loves being with family but it brings up some pain. You can't prevent that, but you can explore how that is now a problem and what is missing that might help with that? I have at times been able to use the positive aspects of the like to help or balance the painful part, just let them coexist. Or look for a simpler, less fraught resource. I am interested in Rob's thoughts, too. Thanks for your question.
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I have tried this today.
One mans love of playing guitar// he loved the joy, the melody, his ability to be creative, he could escape into the music // his problem: life had little joy, he had been unwell and life had been difficult.
He got connected to the emotion of playing , he sat with it for a few minutes, I then suggested how life was a lot like playing guitar and let him sit with that. He got a smile on his face and I could almost see the cogs turning ..... :-)
What a joy and privelege to witness this ... :-)
I have thoroughly enjoyed watching your videos, especially seeing your work with clients which is elegant and powerful. In terms of suggesting what you like is like the problem, if a person then had a negative association so that what they like becomes a problem how do you try to prevent that?
Mitch Margolis
Thanks for your important question, Miich and thanks for your thoughtful response, larry.
Firstly, if we ask the question with a mood of expectancy, this increases the likelyhood of connection, and ... if the connection doesn't happen, we can ask "How if what you like comparable to the problem?". Sometimes the client will then make a connection, sometimes in a surprising way. If there is still no connection, I've found that it can be helpful to introduce learning. "When you first began to [likes] you had these difficulties, and over time, you learnt ..." and ... if still no connections we can support this be saying "You don't need to make the connection here and now. It may happen later, while you're reading a book, etc., perhaps not for a few days ..." In other words exploring ways to keep the possibility active ... AND ... this is only one way of helping. Sometimes something totally different is required.
This approach is usually helpful and is respectful, so it can be a delightful place to begin. But ... only one of many.
Hi Mitch. I am moved to respond because this does happen, for example someone loves basketball but can no longer play or play at the same level which makes him or her sad or loves being with family but it brings up some pain. You can't prevent that, but you can explore how that is now a problem and what is missing that might help with that? I have at times been able to use the positive aspects of the like to help or balance the painful part, just let them coexist. Or look for a simpler, less fraught resource. I am interested in Rob's thoughts, too. Thanks for your question.
Larry Peltz
Interesting questions to think about and explorations to try ...thanks all of you :)
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